I am getting so tired of having to tell family and friends.... "We got kicked out AGAIN". It has been old. I am tired of getting to the point of thinking we will be getting the 'out call' any day and then-NOPE!! Another KO!
Well, here are the facts- we do not have much, but here it is: Our case was kicked out of PGN on Feb 21st due to needing two witness signatures for the rectified Birth Certificate. And we got the famous line that one of the attorney's runners (who is 'good' at there job) is working on it. Then we will be resubmitted for the 5th time.
This is all we got. No idea how long it will take to get the problem fixed, no explanation, only a couple of sentences...
I am beyond frustrated. Nathan should have already been home. Now, who knows if he will make it home by his first birthday.
We need answers. We are seeking answers. Pray we can get some kind of response.
I have accepted the fact that we were going to miss much of his first year of life, but now it is going to be all of it. I know there are some of you other adoptive parents who know this struggle. You have done it or are doing it now. It hurts. Our hearts are broken....
There are so many things I want to say, but my mind is in overload. I am feeling so many emotions right now that I can not even think straight. I do not want to keep riding this roller coaster, but if it is the only way to bring Nathan home than I WILL NOT get off until he is in our arms forever. He is OUR SON. HE is coming HOME!
Thank you to those of you who have offered to go to Guatemala with us and you know... I hope and pray it does not come to that, but it sure would make me feel better right now;)
Please continue to pray for us. I do not know how we will continue through this very long, tiring journey. I need my son. From the day Casey and I married, almost 6 years ago, I wanted a family. I think we have waited long enough. Please Lord, bring him home.....
My baby boy turns 8 months old tomorrow. WE love you sweet boy. I want to you in my arms. Maybe soon....
23 comments:
I am so sorry for your ko! It is a heartbreaking journey, but you will be ABUNDANTLY rewarded in the end! God WILL provide the way to bring Nathan home!
Praying for you all!
my heart hurts for you and for him. he needs his mommy as much as you need him. the Lord will bless you because of your faithfulness.
we love you!
This is heartbreaking. A friend of mine went through the adoption process in Guatemala as well and I remember it being a very frustrating process for them. Today, however, they are living a very happy live with their son. Please have Casey talk with Niloo at work for some guidance, she'll understand.
Hang in there Stephanie and Casey!!
Sorry about all the KOs. I was talking with a friend the other day and I was explaining to him WHY Pearlie and I are do this...
The answer was simple: Because it's worth it - Mateo & Kaia are worth any risk we are taking...that everyone is taking for an international adoption.
I'm sure you guys believe Nathan is worth it too. The feelings they come and go and I can relate to the bad days...or "bad news". But God's got it....even when it seems like He doesn't and you just want to say, "What's up with THIS God?" To me, that's relational and that's real, and my God digs it. I don't try so much to figure Him out today, as I just try to let go of my expectations and let Him run the show. My job then becomes to be COOL with it...no matter what, because He's shown me He's worthy and I trust Him.
Praying for you both to have peace, comfort, and acceptance.
I am so sorry about the kick-out. It is such a difficult journey and I pray yours ends very soon with your son in your arms forever. Please God hear our cries....bring this sweet boy home to his forever family.
I cried with you when I read your blog. I am so sorry. We also recieved not so good news. We got our 4th KO because of a SW error. I am here for you and you are in my thoughts and prayers. My prayer is that the Lord get our children home safe and secure. I know that the Lord knows best but I agree that this rollercoaster is hurtful and emotional.
Sister In Christ.
Hannah
Our hearts are breaking for all three of you. This has been such a heartbreaking journey for us so I know that it has been a million times worst for you and Casey. My prayers ever night is that Nathan will soon be home with his Mommy and Daddy. The only peace I can find in all of this comes from knowing that when he finally does get home and is in his Mom's arms then it will all have been worth it and that he will be the luckiest little boy ever to have the opportunity to be raised and love by two of the greatest people that I know. I am so proud to be Stephanie's mom and I know that God can do mircles inspite of us because of how great she has turned out. So I know that inspite of all these problems that God will be bringing Nathan home soon. We love you all and can not wait to have that sweet baby home. Mom
I am praying for you and the whole situation. God hasn't brought you this far to leave you now so don't let the devil steal your joy! I am sure this is sooooooooo hard but with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE and HE NEVER EVER FAILS US! Keep your head up and know that prayers are going up and God hear's them all!
Rachael Weston, Pleasant Grove
I FEEL the agony of your heart through your words....more importantly there is ONE who not only "feels" it with you but "knows" your pain too. The older I get, the more suffering I see and the more unfairness this world has to offer...yet I trust God is STILL good and He still SEES and KNOWS and will not waste a single second of your adoption to bring Him glory. As you said in a previous post, I am confident he will use your adoption so that no one can boast except to praise His name!!
My spirit is praying for you and my heart is shedding tears with you. Hang in there sister...the reward will be so fulfilling!
I am so sorry. That is SO hard. Our process in Guatemala was one year from referral to the day. It was torture for me. We went through bc rectification. I am so sorry for your pain. I pray you are through this soon. Hugs, Angel
I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR THIS NEWS AGAIN. I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO FEEL YOUR PAIN. WE ARE PRYAING FOR NATHAN TO BE HOME SOON WITH HIS WONDERFUL PARENTS AND I KNOW THERE IS A REASON FOR ALL OF THIS AND GOD IS IN CONTROL. KEEP YOUR EYES ON HIM AND STAY STRONG LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN! PRAYING FOR YOU ALL
I am so very, very sorry to hear this news. I can't begin to imagine how you feel, I know it breaks my heart for you. Know you are not in this alone!!! My SS lesson for 6th gr girls today was "When Things Seem Hopeless". Bottom line, God is right there holding us up, without Him it would be hopeless, but with Him we are more than conquerors. My love and prayers are with you. And again, may God be glorified through it all!! Karen Wood
I am so sorry to hear the news! We will be praying for you and that Nathan will be in your arms VERY soon!
Oh Stephanie, my heart sank so low when I started reading this. I am so sorry, and I am grieving with you. We too have come to realize that we have lost Kendall's first year of life. I try to look at it as her life has been a blessing to the nannies at the orphanage for the first year, and we will have her for the rest of her life. This process is so long and seems like it will never end. I know that it will though and it is going to be so worth it! WE WILL GET THAT CALL TO COME AND GET THEM AND THEY WILL BE HOME!!
I am praying for you sister!! If you need to have lunch at the Mexican resturant and cry, please call me! You name the place and time and I will be there!
Love you! Deidre
Dear Allums Family,
Our hearts identify with yours....we remember those times of hurt, pain, and excrusiating agony. It's hard to put into words the emotions you are bearing right now.
Nothing we can say will take that pain away. After two years of that roller coaster, God put our boy in our arms. Oh the day....long for it, look forward to it and wait (oh, it's not as easy as it looks on paper). Christ knows your pain, and He is waiting to give you something so much bigger than you can ever imagine. Be still and know....
JT and Sheryl Turner
Stephanie and Casey, I am so sorry that you two are going through this time of uncertainty. I want to see him in both of your arms. I know that Nathan is worth the wait, but I also know that the wait is not pleasant. We hope and pray that the wait is not much longer. Nathan will soon see how fortunate he is for having such great and wonderful parents. Jennifer, the girls, and I love all three of you.
Love, Uncle Bryan
I can't begin to express our hurt for all three of you. It is so frustrating for us and we can't begin to imagine what you guys are going through. Just know that we are here for you and we love all three of you very very much. We continue to pray every day for God to see this journey through and soon. Know that we love you and Nathan and without a doubt he will be home soon with his wonderful parents. We love all of you,
Poppy and Nina
My heart hurts for you! I am so sorry!
I'm so sorry for your heartbreak!! You all are still in my every prayer, and may God bring your baby boy home to you soon.
That is so frustrating. I will keep you in my prayers.
Gail
Hey favorite people, we sang this song in church on Sunday and this stanza comforted our broken hearts and I wanted to share it with you:
How Far is the East from the West - Casting Crowns
I know you've washed me white,
Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through,
To get me through this night
Can’t live by what I feel
But by the Truth your work reveals,
I'm not holding on to you
But you're holding on to me,
You’re holding on to me
When we can't hold on any longer, HE holds us tightly and never lets go. Fall into His mighty strong arms and rest.
We love you with all our heart.
My heart hurts for the three of you. I will continue to pray for the day that you & Casey get to hold your precious Nathan.
My heart goes out to the three of you. Please know that God has got this!!! There is a verse in 2Timothy my children say each night with their night night prayers. They say it to keep nightmares and bad thoughts out of their dreams, so they won't be afraid. I'm sure you both know it well, I just wanted to remind you of it. It says "for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love,peace and sound mind" 2Tim 1:7. Don't let the devil scare you into thinking that you're not gonna make it through this and don't let him steal your peace of mind in knowing that God is forever in control. I'm praying along with everyone and knowing that God is gonna prevail
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