Grace of God...

How do I get through the day? By the grace of God.

Some days are just going through the motions, others are more. At this point it is so hard to know what to do. When your life is at this state and on hold for so many different reasons, you do not know what to do. I just pray that through this all, I do not miss the point. I pray I do not miss the "big picture".

This is not the path we chose for our lives. We would not have chosen this path four and a half years ago. God chose it for us. Because of this path, God gave us Nathan. I am thankful that God's plans are bigger and better than ours. This path has been full of ups, downs, happiness, sadness, joys, sorrows, pain, laughter, etc.; but in the end I pray it will ultimately glorify our God.

So many people say so many different things to us because of this journey God is carrying us through...

"God must have given you lots of patience"
"You are amazing people for what you are doing"
"I do not see how you are doing this (waiting)?"

I could go on, but those are just a few.
-No, we do not have lots of patience. I am a very impatient person, but am always working on this. I feel that I have improved, but not enough to enjoy waiting on my son to come home with no end in sight.
-No, we are not amazing people. Our God is amazing!! He is the One who chose us to be His children. By His grace we are able to face each day knowing He is with us and all things are possible! He first loved us! He is the one who created this family, not us!
-I do not see how we are waiting either?!?!?!??!? It blows my mind every day that I am still sane:). Some days I wonder how I am going to make it through another day, week or month; but once again my God provides and here we are...

Case Update: Our case is in the review part of PGN. They are deciding what to do since the birth mother can not be found for the interview. No estimate on how long this will take.

My mind has gone in so many directions since we received this news. And it is coming back to the fact that this is completely not fair to Nathan. I pray that the right decision will be made on his behalf and ultimately God will be glorified. All I know to do at this point is pray, seek, pray and seek. I rest in knowing that He is in control.

Thank you to all who have been praying. You all mean so much to us! It humbles me when I stop to think about how many people are actually praying for our son to come home to us.

Thanks for Sarah and the rest of the mission team for loving on my son while at the Nest. Thank you for all the pictures and the precious details of Nathan. Read below what Sarah had to say about Nathan...

"I really enjoyed playing with and loving on your your precious baby. He was so sweet and has the softest, curly hair. When I walked into the orphanage for the first time, your son was the first baby I noticed. I just remember seeing this big baby with his curly hair sitting on the floor. He was so cute! He is such a cute and funny baby. He was always making funny faces. Also, he is starting to talk. I think that his favorite things to do are have someone walk him around because he cannot walk all by himself yet and to be held. He is so close to walking on his own though. He just really loves to be walked. It was so funny when he wants to be held the mamas will wrap him on their back and carry him around. It looked like he was half their size hehe. Also, he liked it when I took his picture, and then showed him it. Oh and my best friend wanted me to tell you that one night when it was bed time he was crying in his crib. So she went over and showed him the little picture book of your family that you sent him. It immediately calmed him down and he stopped crying. He received lots of love while we were there. Our team just loved Nathan. His nickname was "Bruiser." We all think that he is going to play in the NFL someday. Many people on our team really enjoyed reading to, playing with, and walking Nathan around. I know that he misses you lots and cant wait to be home forever!!"

Nathan, I pray you are resting safe and sound tonight in your crib. Mommy and Daddy miss you so much. We are praying...

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9,10

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30