Well, we continue to get news, not good, from different sources... we continue to fight for our son, and fighting hard we are doing! Believe me, we are doing everything we can to fight for our son, but ultimately it is up to God to bring him home! I am choosing to believe and trust in Him, each day, that HE KNOWS best for Nathan and us.
NO ONE knows the struggles and pains we have gone through and are going through. We are now on grounds that NO ONE else has ever been on before in Guatemala adoptions. No one can relate to us in where we are and that is a hard and scary place to be in. All we can do is lean on Jesus and rest in Him.
Everyday, I am full of so many different feelings- anger, sadness, anxiety, grief, happiness, stress, peace, confusion, I could go on and on. And at some moments I feel nothing.
I told Casey today. I do not know if I have any "fuel left in my tank" and "there is no gas station in sight". And if there was, "my wallet is empty!". I do not know how much more breaking I can take, but I am sure God does;).
A quote was sent to me a few weeks ago and I keep going back to it, "When you feel like giving up, remember then why you held on so long". I feel like giving up so many times because so many times I feel beat down and defeated each day, with each bad news we receive. But Nathan is sooooooooo worth hanging on and fighting for! God is going to see us all three through this and HE will be the one to get the glory! It will be nothing I nor Casey did, and definitely nothing anyone in Guatemala did!
So, WE will continue to wait. WE will continue to be beat down if WE have to. God knows US and knows our limits. WE trust Him and only Him to see us through.
Thank you again for continuing to follow us on this LONG journey. I enjoy so much reading your comments (especially from people whom I have not heard or seen in ages;) and 'strangers' who have stumbled upon this blog). Your words are so encouraging to us at this point in the journey!
Praying without ceasing,
~Stephanie
12 comments:
Keep on fighting and know that your family and friends are standing behind you in support, love and prayer. When you feel you are "running on empty", know that God is the one and only one who can re-fuel you. Praying for you guys and that sweet boy:)
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. While I don't know what it feels like to stand where you are standing now I do know what it feels like to have them tell you we don't know what to do no one has ever been here before.
My daughter exited PGN last September. We were excited and waited to get her BC and move on to pink. We waited and waited and waited. All of the sudden we were told that the part of Guatemala that my daughter was born in (Peten) was refusing to issue any BC that had to do with adoption. They went on to say they would NEVER do it again.
We contacted EVERYONE no one could help us. She was legally our daughter but not legally a US citizen so our country couldn't do much. We ended up taking it to court 3 times (three different cases) at the highest court in Guatemala. The first two cases and even an appeal were denied. Our case finally won. It was a long long long process. My daughter finally came home March 6th. There were days when I thought I can not bear another day of hearing nothing, knowing nothing. The feeling of being so powerless was overwhelming. But the Lord carried us through it and her home.
I don't know what you are going through but Know our family is praying for you and for you sweet son.
God never fails.
Hannah
steph,
there are no words to say except i am praying for you all! my heart hurts for you and casey, but i know GOD will give you the strength you need to get through this and bring nathan home soon!
praying for good news soon!
My heart breaks for all three of you, but I do know that we have not come this far to give up now. God will see you through this. I love you and am so proud of both you and Casey. I know that Nathan will be home soon. Love you all,
I pray for you and your son each night. He is absolutley adorable. I will continue to do so. He is so precious. He will come home. I'd love to be able to pass you some strength. I'll pray that God will deliver it to you. Although my situation is somewhat different, I know the running on empty feeling all too well. My husband and I struggled with years of infertility, followed by a very hard pregnancy, premature baby, more infertility, more heartbreak, then waiting through an adoption. I made it by faith. You will too.
Valerie
Stephanie and Casey
Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking about you today and lifting you up to the ONE who knows ALL things....we are praying that He will grant you the strength that you need for each day no matter how easy or tough the day is. We love to see the precious pictures of your baby boy and will pray that he is in your arms soon.
Love,
Steven, Leslie and Maddie
We commit to being the "persistent knocker" for Nathan and your family.
Praying for you,
Amy
Our hearts are so burdened for you and Nathan! We do not know what you are going through but we know the ONE who is going through it with you! We also know how God often glorifies Himself through impossible situations just to proclaim His Name! We are praying!!
In Christ,
Marianne
Hi guys,
Brent and I have been keeping up with your journey. Know you are loved and prayed for daily. God is using you and your story to reach many. Your faith is great and God is greater! Keep hanging in there. Nathan is beautiful.
Love,
Cindy and Brent Morris
So encouraging to see the faith of other believers on a similar journey as our family and their dependence on Christ. His mercies are never failing and I am always amazed that He gives just the grace needed to endure the trial set before me. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
WORTH IT...HE IS!!
Pearlie and I are praying for you and Casey and of course Nathan. He is so precious. I was just thinking the other day about all the "brothers and sisters" at EN that Kaia and Mateo will forever have in their hearts and hopefully someday soon all here home safely in The South, USA!! Your strength and courage is sooo contagious.
Stephanie, de-lurking to say I've been reading your blog for many months, and have been praying for you and your family that your little one will be home with you soon. After reading your post, I decided I should share another blog with you: maybe you read it already. It is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/madelineforrester-kent. This AP's most recent post talks what you discussed in your post. hope it helps. know I'm praying for you and nathan. Ellen, mommy to to my daughter, home from guat since jan 2008. eblharrison@yahoo.com
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