Chosen for Us

I haven't thought much of Nathan's birth mother in a while. I have been guarding myself ever since we lost our referral of Mauro (Cooper).

When we lost Mauro, it was very difficult. It was bitter/sweet. I knew he was going back to a mommy that obviously loved him very much, but we had already fallen in love with that precious boy. Our hearts were broken.

On July 13, 2007 we received the perfect child God has chosen for us. Since then I have been very guarded and not thought much of Nathan's birth mother. But I have thought and prayed about it and my heart is changing. As Nathan gets older and everyday gets closer to when our son comes home, it reminds me that she has sacrificed so much for her child to have a life she could not give him and we are beyond grateful. I can not imagine the love she has for him, so much that she is willing to sacrifice her chance to be with him. I pray that she will somehow know that he is being well taken care of now; and when he gets home forever with us we will love, provide and care for him to the best of our ability.

I want Nathan to always know that his birth mother loved him and wants the best for him. But what is so amazing- we are not only going to try and give him the best we can- He has already given us the best!

So many times people say "It is amazing what you are doing for this child". But that is so not what is happening. I know Nathan's life will be so different her in the US compared to if he would have grown up in Mixco, Guatemala; but Nathan is doing so much more for us!! He is such a "Gift from God"(Just like the meaning of his name). God chose to bring us together as a family. I am so humbled to be called his "mommy". I am not worthy. I pray God will guide us each day as we parent him.

I am so grateful for this journey God is taken us on. I would not have it any other way. I have learned so much the past 4 years and hope to learn so much more. I am changed forever.

Here is a song. It was written by Marc Schultz.
It is a song he wrote to his birth mother...

Everything to me I must have felt your tears
When they took me from your arms
I'm sure I must have heard you say goodbye
Lonely and afraid had you made a big mistake
Could an ocean even hold the tears you cried

But you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And you made the only choice you could that night

You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me

And if I saw you on the street
Would you know that it was me
And would your eyes be blue or green like mine
Would we share a warm embrace
Would you know me in your heart
Or would you smile and let me walk on by
Knowing you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And I hope that you'd be proud of who I am

You gave life to me
A chance to find my dreams
And a chance to fall in love
You should have seen her shining face
On our wedding day
Oh is this the dream you had in mind
When you gave me up
You gave everything to me

And when I see you there
Watching from Heaven's gates
Into your arms I'm gonna run
And when you look in my eyes
You can see my whole life
See who I was
And who I've become

You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me