I wish so badly (more than anyone knows) that I had good news for all of you following our journey. All I can tell you is that I know nothing! Honestly, I do not even know where our case is. I do not know who or what is in charge with the adoptions anymore. I do not think anyone does. Frustrating.... beyond words.
What do we do?..."wait". I hate that word, but it comes out of my mouth daily when I answer the "famous question". The government, here or there, does not care that we are waiting with no end in site. They do not care that Nathan is stuck in an orphanage and who knows if or when he will come home to us. They do not care that it will be two years in December since we started this journey. They do not care that our son is thousands of miles away from us and who knows if he will come home. They just do not care. Who does care?? I know God cares, but why this route?? It makes no sense.
I know all the Sunday school answers. I am tired of hearing them. I run them through my head daily while arguing with each one. At this point... no one has answers for us. This is beyond comprehension. What are You doing, Jesus?? What is the purpose??
Selfishly I want life to move on. I am tired of this roller coaster. I wish I could just jump off. Just how long is this ride?? Of coarse I would want Nathan to be apart of the "moving on". That is why we choose to continue to fight. Nathan needs us to fight. We need to fight. If we don't, who will?
Imagine giving birth to your child then the "government" taking them away and placing them in a situation like Nathan's and telling you to jump through all kind of hoops in hopes to get him back. But who knows if you really will? That is our daily lives. Doesn't sound like fun, huh?
Pray. That is all I know to do at this point. God knows what is going to happen. He is in control. He is the only thing I have faith and trust in.
Thank you for following. Thank you for praying. Thank you for fighting with us.
good nite sweetheart...
14 comments:
Hey precious friend...you are right in that all we can do is pray and that we are doing on your behalf. I can only imagine your heartache and no, the journey does not sound fun. You are so courageous and your perseverance is admirable. We love you guys so much. Your son is beautiful.
I can read your heartache even though I cannot really fathom what you are going through. Don't lose Faith. God will bring you through this. This is an unfortunate situation for all of you but it will have a perfect ending according to God's plan. I am hopeful that you will hear good news soon. Until then we will keep you in our prayers. It was so good to read your post. You are so strong and your will has been a teatimony to so many people.
We don't know each other, but I came across your blog from a friend who adopted from the Eagle's Nest. I just want you to know that I do pray for your situation daily and my heart aches for you, your husband and for Nathan. You really are stronger than you know and you have been encouraging to me in my walk with God. God bless you and your fight to your son.
Oh my heart breaks for you, as you continue to go through this pain. Just know that we think of you and pray for Nathan's case and your heart, as I know it is breaking. I don't get all this pain and disappointment...I know God is in controll and pray for mercy for you. Keep fighting, as your friends are standing right behind you:)
oh how my heart is so heavy for you. I just want you to know that you are in our prayers and thoughts daily. I pray that the Lord will give you the strength and courage to keep waiting and holding on. You keep fighting for Nathan and if you need anything I am right here. May God bless you and your family and move those mountains.
I check your blog every day in hopes that you post that you are on your way to bring Nathan home forever. I'm so sorry for the emotional rollercoaster but I trust in God too and I will continue praying for you all. Your son is very lucky to have your love and devotion. He is precious and I lift him up in prayer every day!....grace corliss
I've been following your blog for quite some time and can relate to the frustration you feel. I believe you have hit the nail on the head when you state that the Jesus Christ is the only thing you have faith and trust in... that's what it must be for us. I keep reminding myself that I am the pot and God is the potter molding my life and faith to mirror that of Christ. I can honestly say that I am not the same spiritually as I was when I entered this process. We truly have to have an attitude of thankfulness even when we going through these trials... I have found psalms so very comforting lately.
I do no know you personally, but I do pray for you. My prayer for every believer going through this horrible earthly experience is that they would not miss one bit of the sanctification Christ has for them and their growth in Him would be tremendous. No matter the outcome... we must, must as believers focus on eternity... the only true hope. Daily this feels like eternity, but thankfully we know the One who holds the future. It is so good that you are pouring yourself out to the Lord in prayer... that's what He wants of us; to be totally dependent on Him. Is it hard? Yes! And we can only do it through the help of the Holy Spirit who enables us to stay focused through the reading and study of His Word. I know you "Know" all of this. This is just encouragement that I preached to myself daily as well. I think on what is true and I know it is true that Christ will see me through this trial and my way of escape is through Him.
Thank you God for providing a Savior! Help me to pray for those who persecute me (and my babies) and even love them. Please save their souls and change their hearts to serve You! Their destiny is horrible otherwise.
We are continuing to lift your family in prayer. Words seem inadequate, even in prayer. So thankful that when we do not know what to ask for the Holy Spirit intercedes for us.
We will continue to pray.
I don't personally know you but I have followed your blog for a while. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through, I know there aren't words to make you feel better. We have a little girl that we adopted from Guatemala last summer who is now 21 mos. So Guatemala and the children have a special place in my heart. I am praying for you, your husband and Nathan. This process is to hard on a person emotionally even when there aren't any big issues so my heart goes out to you. You know that Nathan was put in you your life for a reason and it may be that God knew you wouldn't give up on him and would fight for that little boy who other wise wouldn't have a chance. I know when you are hurting it is so hard to see any sense in any of what is happening but know you are not alone. I pray that God will soften the hearts of those in power and allow the adoptions to start again and complete the ones that are already in process.
I am adopted and am so very thankful for Moms and Dads who fight for their God given children as you and your husband are.
May God Bless you as you continue to love on that precious boy from afar.
(friend of a friend..)
Angela
Just letting you know I'm still daily praying for you and your family.
Thank you for posting... all of us who have been woven together through our adoptions are so concerned for you and Nathan and so it is good to hear from you.
We continue to pray and know God is the only ONE who can meet you in your need for HIM... praying He meets you even today and sends angels to minister to your weary heart as He did for Elijah in 1Kings 19.
Lord, please break the "chains" that hold Nathan from his family and set him free oh "God, my Savior who ransomed me".
Praying right now for you my precious Sister in Christ.
Sometimes, we just never can understand. You know my past pains, sometimes we will see glimpses of "why" after or during the pain, but sometimes we don't.
I don't understand why just three short months after we got Sarah Beth home I had to fall down my basement steps. (It took us 16 months, with fairly normal circumstances in Guatemala.)
So senseless, what's the lesson? I don't know, slow down maybe?
I can't count the days of her life I've missed now since she's been home. Hours, days, weeks spent in the bed with horrific back and neck pain and the headaches indescribable (and I have migraines).
Why didn't the Lord stop me from falling, steady my feet, He could have, I know.
I am facing back surgery, looks like it will be within the next 4 weeks or so. My husband, and I are meeting with neurosurgeons here in Birmingham in the next two weeks.
So, I'm praying for you sweet Sister, please add me to your list.
Lori McGuire
Just wanted to say that I love the three of you and continue to pray that the wonderful day of Nathan's coming home is soon.....
Remember....you are loved and prayed for....
Drenda
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